Monday, May 22, 2006

Hard Hitting Coverage of News That Matters.

Iraq has a government now...

..And now the real news:

Apparently the Egyptians have enough sand to keep their heads comfortably covered for some time.
Despite living in a pretty rough neighborhood (when the term Egypt + bomb is Googled, you get 9,010,000 hits), Egypt has decided that the best way to keep tourism on track is to raise an ancient Roman city out of the ocean.


Part of the reason, my suspicion is, is that Lionel Ritchie is so big in the Middle East. Lionel Ritchie, a known "Roma-Phile", when asked why the Egyptians were doing this responded: "The answer is, I'm huge, huge in the Arab world. The answer as to why is, I don't have the slightest idea."
Obviously Lionel Ritchie is of the mind that the Egyptians are just trying to impress him.

Iranian spokeman Gholam-Hossein Elham, responded to the Egyptian plan by saying "Iran believes that access to peaceful nuclear technology is an indisputable and irreversible right of the nation.". Although no one is really sure what that meant, it would seem that the recent AP report about menstruation becoming optional really has the Iranians worried. Iran, whose official position has always been that a mentrual period should be a requirement for women as well as a dress code that makes Angela Lansbury look like Britney Spears at the VMA's,
is one of dismay. The chief of police of Tehran has indicated that he would add "An unwillingness to do their womanly duty" to a list of offenses he would arrest women for. A list that already includes wearing "flimsy headscarves, shortened trousers and coats that revealed the shape of the body".

Madonna, whose well known penchant for changing her ethnicity and culture, was obviously so distraught over Chief Abu-Wiggam's declaration as well as the Arab world so loving Lionel, that she immediately had herself crucified.

Crucifixion, of course was a popular form of execution in the Roman world, thus bringing us full circle.
The Romans man, the Romans.



The Arch-Groovus Report: We think for you...You're welcome.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just wanted you to know I am reading...I don't have anything clever to say (as usual)...j

Anonymous said...

PS Please tell me you will be addressing our presidents futile attempt at drawing support from the conservative right by readdressing the ban on gay marriage. Please o please! Jen

Anonymous said...

You're a TAURUS?!! Who knew?

-Tracy

Anonymous said...

While I'm still thoroughly entertained with each and every reading I conduct of this post (I'm on 94 at last count), I miss the clever, witty, insightful (recent) banter of the Archgroovus.

I'm not asking for anything elaborate as I, if anyone, understand how time consuming blog posting can be. Maybe just a couple sentences about your latest revelation regarding the idiosyncracies of this world in which we live and my life will once again be complete. (And I'll have something entertaining to read while waiting for my code to build.)